To our Tulip

Dear Sweetie,

         It’s raining outside and you are watching it from the window. You watch as the drops rain down the pane, absorbing into one another. Your fingers tracing them leaving little peanut butter smears. You turn, delighted with your picture, showing me the globs on the window. I smile and blow you a kiss. You stop what you’re doing than. You bring both index fingers to your mouth and blow me our special kiss. One I taught you when you were so little. I was so proud of you. You mimicked me exactly and to this day you still remember it as ours. 

         Sweetie, life hasn’t been easy for you. You have had to get shots and surgeries. You have had to go to Doctors far away. You have had to go into scary rooms without Momma or Dad and you have done it beautifully. You have been brave and strong. You cry out but you go. Someone once said that "Courage isn't the absence of fear. It is doing what you are afraid to do.” Sweetie, you are courage. 

          When you were born, I was in Bulgaria. I was so far from my sister and I was so scared for her and for you. We knew that you would be different. The doctors had wanted your Momma and Daddy to give you up. They wouldn’t. You were so beautiful to them. The doctors said you might have hoofed feet and when they were wrong, your Aunties bought your Momma some pretty little girl shoes for you. Sweetie, those doctors were so wrong. They were measuring life by their standard not God’s. If those doctors could see you today, they would be ashamed. They would watch you walk on your perfect feet. They would see you play with your brothers and cousins. They would watch as you snuggled up to be read a book or watch a movie. Perfectly created by a perfect God. When I finally got to Skype and see your face, I cried. I cried because you were here and your Momma was safe. I cried because I couldn’t be there to welcome you to our family. I cried because of all the babies who weren’t brought into the world by their parents but were given up to a horrible fate. I cried because I was worried about you and what your life might be like. Sweetie, I don’t cry anymore for you. Everyday I thank God that you are you and no one else. You are so beautiful and God has everything in His hands. When you learn to read, we will rejoice. When you play your first soccer game, I will be there to watch. These are not ifs but whens. Because you are courageous and you won’t give up. I am so proud of you, Sweetie. I love you.