October 16, 2013
Dear Sweetie,
It’s 11:08 p.m. I open tomorrow and should go to sleep but I can’t. I keep thinking about you. You have a big surgery tomorrow. A valve of yours doesn’t work quite right. The doctors knew it might come to this but we all prayed that it wouldn’t. You have to have open heart surgery. Sweetie, I felt pretty dumb not knowing how serious it was. Nanny told me about it while I was working and I looked it up and teared up on sight. Three percent mortality rate? What does that even mean? I stared at the i-pad screen through bleary eyes trying to make sense of what I had been told.
Your momma was a mess. She hadn’t known that this was the plan. They’re going to break your sternum and you are going to have a scar going up the center of your chest. It’ll still be you. Just a more worn you. A more lived in you. We all have scars, Sweetie. Yours is just going to be bigger and ultimately better than most. This scar is going to help your heart work right. Anything is worth that. We want your heart to pump soundly and clearly through many family dinners and summer nights. We want to hear you laughing at Oliver and his silly faces. We want to watch you dance to Robyn and see you “sasquatch it” down the hallway chasing Wyatt. Sweetie, you got this. I’m praying for peace for you and for your Momma and for your Dad. Be a brave lady, Sweetie. Remember what Christopher Robin told Pooh bear? “You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” I love you.
No comments:
Post a Comment